All posts by : Santhosh Nair

Many wonder why coaching is effective, sustainable, and transformative, especially when coaches don’t give advice. Transformation occurs due to coaching’s unique approach, empowering clients to discover their own solutions and insights. These insights and outcomes are sustainable because they come from within the client, integrating with their subconscious patterns. The process, known as ‘coaching presence,’ facilitated by the coach, is similar to hypnosis, allowing clients to tap into their subconscious. Self-discovered solutions are more sustainable than those suggested by others.
Key factors influencing quality coaching:
·        Trust and Confidentiality:  Building trust and ensuring confidentiality creates a safe, non-judgmental environment for clients to express themselves openly.
·        Deep Listening:  Coaches listen deeply to clients, understanding the emotions and beliefs behind their words, making clients feel heard and understood.
·        Powerful Questions:  Coaches ask open-ended questions to help clients reflect and explore new perspectives, sparking profound self-reflection
·        Awareness:  Coaching helps clients become aware of their thought patterns, behaviors, and beliefs, bringing unconscious thoughts to the surface.
·        Self-Discovery:  Coaches facilitate a process where clients find their own solutions, empowering them to address their challenges.
·        Accountability:  Coaches help clients set clear, achievable goals and hold them accountable, keeping them committed and motivated.

Sample Scenario:
·        Imagine a client feeling stuck in their career, frustrated and unsure of their next steps. The coach creates a safe, confidential environment for the client to share openly.
·        Through active listening, the coach identifies underlying fears of failure or lack of self-worth. By asking questions like “What do you really want from your career?” or “What strengths are you not fully utilizing?” the coach helps the client uncover new insights.
·        As the client talks, they might realize their fear of failure stems from past experiences they’ve never processed. With this new awareness, they can re-examine these issues as lessons learned and challenge their previous conclusions. They may also recognize strengths and passions they hadn’t considered, exploring new options or career paths they previously thought impossible.
·        This self-discovery process, facilitated by the coach’s listening and questioning skills, makes coaching powerful, leading to transformative and sustainable outcomes.

We often seek happiness, purpose, and meaning. PERMA, a framework developed by psychologist Martin Seligman, provides a roadmap for achieving lasting well-being. Let’s dive into each component:


1. Positive Emotions (P)
Positive emotions are the building blocks of happiness. Cultivate joy, gratitude, love, and awe. Start your day with a smile, savor small pleasures, and express appreciation. Remember, happiness is not just the absence of negativity; it’s the presence of positivity.


2. Engagement (E)
Engagement refers to being “in the flow.” It’s that feeling when time flies because you’re fully absorbed in an activity. Discover your passions, pursue hobbies, and challenge yourself. Whether it’s painting, coding, or dancing, find your flow.


3. Relationships
Strong social connections contribute significantly to well-being. Nurture meaningful relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. Invest time in deep conversations, active listening, and acts of kindness. Remember, quality matters more than quantity.


4. Meaning (M)
Seek purpose and meaning in your life. What gives your existence significance? It could be your work, volunteering, or creative pursuits. Reflect on your values and align your actions with them. When you find purpose, life gains depth.

5. Accomplishment (A)
Achievement and growth lead to a sense of accomplishment. Set realistic goals, break them down into smaller steps, and celebrate progress. Whether it’s acing an exam, finishing a project, or running a marathon, acknowledge your achievements.


Putting It All Together
Remember that PERMA isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress. Embrace imperfections, learn from setbacks, and adapt.

Why not do a pathology test for ‘absence’ of any of the five elements?

You might stumble upon the ‘secret’ of flourishing !!!

In the realm of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Richard Bandler’s profound words take on a whole new meaning.

Yes, in fact it offers the transformative tools to change the internal representations of past memories, rewriting our narratives with joyful and empowering experiences. Yes, rewriting the past, creating a brighter present.
Imagine a life where the shadows of the past no longer hold sway, where memories are reshaped into sources of strength and positivity. The tools empowers us to overwrite painful memories with pleasant representations, paving the way for a brighter, more fulfilling present.


It isn’t just about changing memories; it’s about cultivating resilience and inner strength. By reframing our past experiences, we harness the power to turn challenges into opportunities for growth and transformation.

Same way, resourcefulness isn’t a distant dream—it’s a tangible reality waiting to be crafted. By reshaping our internal dialogue, beliefs, and perceptions, we step into a world where joy, fulfillment, and limitless possibilities abound.

It’s never too late to rewrite a story and shape a productive future, resilience, and peace, if not joy!

No other quote influenced me this much. Profound.

Reflecting on the statement brings forth a novel realization, for the simple reason that the end result of feeling or getting ‘disappointment’ is, in fact, our own doing. This means that we have the absolute choice and control over whether or not to feel to get disappointed.

Many times, we overlook the presence of a choice before allowing disappointment as the outcome.

It underscores the immense influence we wield over our own emotional landscape. Disappointment or motivation often stemming from our subconscious choices and beliefs, serves as a stark reminder of our innate power to shape our experiences.

Within the recesses of our subconscious lies a vast reservoir of potential, akin to a warehouse stocked with possibilities. Yet, this warehouse can also harbor shadows of self-sabotage, waiting to be illuminated by conscious negotiation.

In this journey of self-reflection, we confront a pivotal choice: to linger in the depths of doubt and negativity or to brave the path of optimism and resilience. The decision lies within us, shaping the trajectory of our inner landscape.

As we navigate the intricacies, we unveil the art of negotiation—charting a course towards self-awareness and unlocking the boundless potential within.
In this exploration of self, may we embrace the profound wisdom that lies in the depths of our own being, and may we navigate with grace and intention.
It could be a solo trip or a guided expedition.

Coaching is a guided expedition to a client’s own depths, very similar to the role of ‘sherpas’ in Himalayan expeditions. Coaches leverage their expertise, experience, and resilience to navigate the challenges, but the journey has to be made by the ‘coachee’ themselves.

Isn’t it true that disappointment is indeed our own conspiracy?

Reflecting on a metaphor of managing a mega event with 1000 specialists, I’m captivated by the parallels it shares with the journey of taming the subconscious.

In the intricate dance of coordination, there’s a delicate interplay of countless moving parts, each representing a facet of our subconscious – emotions, memories, habits, beliefs – all demanding attention and precise coordination, with the potential to either elevate or derail the event.

Yet, within this complexity lies the potential for extraordinary magic. When intentions are clear, and direction remains unwavering, the result is nothing short of breathtaking.

It’s a journey characterized by adaptability and empowerment, where every twist and turn necessitates a slightly ‘uncommon’ yet simple approach. Just as in event management, nurturing and guiding the subconscious involves recognizing strengths and gently redirecting away from harmful patterns, in this case purely using words and communicating accurately.

Ultimately, harmonizing ( to some extent mastering ) the subconscious is not a finite destination but an ongoing evolution. It’s about embracing the process, navigating the intricacies, and discovering the beauty very similar to a walk in the nature. That simple.

Good news. Considering outsourcing this task? Indeed, it’s a possibility. ‘Coaching’ is the answer. Coaching is different from mentoring advice. Coaches with their unique competence offer insights, roadmap, strategies, and a guiding hand through the journey – uncommon, yet worth taking it up.

Are you ready?

“THE ACT or PROCESS of REALIZING one’s TALENTS, BLESSINGS AND POTENTIAL FOR FULLFILLMENT, GROWTH AND CREATIVITY”- Merriam-Webster,.

“Here is a recent act of nobility and also practice of ‘Self Actualization’ that caught my attention:

R. Thyagarajan, a Padma Bhushan awardee aged 86, has donated USD 750 million (approximately INR 6200 crores) to his own employees. Through his financial conglomerate, the Chennai-based Shriram Group, he fulfilled his strong desire to provide financial support to individuals without formal credit scores, particularly those from lower socioeconomic backgrounds. This initiative has benefited millions of small business owners and currently employs over a hundred thousand workers. Salute to you, sir!”